Chivalry

Josh Daniels believes that all young men should be knowledgeable in the ways of chivalry. Chivalry originated as a code derived from the noble knights in court, and was a way for them to distinguish themselves as the cream of the crop. Isn't that how you gentlemen want to be characterized as? The ladies adore a man who is well versed in the the classical mannerisms that come along with partaking in chivalry. So get on it kids. Go out there and have mommy and daddy sign you up for Citillian classes.

Cursive - A Gentleman Caller

Weekend Hangover

It's like Josh Daniels told his good friend Steve. You haven't seen it all until you've seen a pregnant lady sing, "This Is How We Do It" at your favorite local bar during karaoke night. Josh Daniels isn't going to be presumptuous and claim the experience to life changing, but lets just say that Josh Daniels already canceled three gym memberships and a gym membership (crazy, i know). It's definitely more like an epiphany, like, "Holy shit! This fuckin' cunt bag is taking over my jam right now. Fuckin' soloing by putting the mic on her uterus and having the baby do bass kicks to the walls of her womb." And now kids, as Josh Daniels stares at the bottom of an empty pint glass, Josh Daniels will leave you. You beautiful beautiful bitches.

P.S. - Fat kids are good kissers. That is, according to a reliable source.

Montell Jordan - This Is How We Do It (Ryan Justin Remix)

New Jeans

Yay! Josh Daniels just received a fresh pair of denim jeans. Josh Daniel's favorite clothing item. Not the ones pictured above mind you, but ones better suited for us everyday common folk. Oh, and has anyone heard anything about some movie about a guy who dresses like a bat coming out tomorrow? And like some dude died after filming it. I heard it;s supposed to be pretty decent. *smiley face*

The Bronx - Bats!

WTF!?!?!?!

So FACKIN cool!!!!!!!!!!


MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

Max Payne

Looks tight as fuck. Big Boi Marky Mark doing his thing in this bitch. Making Josh Daniels forget about the disaster known as, The Crappening. Hip Hip... Hooray!

Inspired

That's the way Josh Daniels felt after reading Patton Oswalt's commencement speech that he gave to his high school. The speech can be found here, and is highly recommended.

MacGruber!

MacGruber is a running skit on SNL that pokes fun at the 90's series MacGyver. Hosts such as Shia Labeouf, Jonah Hill, Jeremy Piven, and Seth Rogen have participated. Absolutely hilarious.

Ice Cube - You Can Do It (Bass Kleph Bootleg)

Behind The Photo

When you first see this image you think, "Awwww, that's really cute. With the head and the sleeping. Awwww." Josh Daniels thought the same thing too, but only for a second. Then Josh Daniels found out the real story behind this postcard-esque picture. The boy was in a sex induced coma after his foster parents had made him and the hired acting dog, Raul, engage in child on dog sex. It's very popular in Siberia. These sick foster parents have been making a fortune off this stuff for years. And not once have they given the child their rightful cut. This disgusts Josh Daniels.

Junior Boys - Like A Child

The Break Up

Look. It's over. Josh Daniels is a proud man. A fair and honest man. All Josh Daniels asks is to be treated the same way in return. We've dated for quite sometime, off and on, but your behavior lately has been inexcusable. Lying, and then having little or no remorse for your actions. You say that you feel bad and you want to make things work. Why are you out partying tonight, and seeing your friends, while Josh Daniels is home feeling sorry for himself and questioning his self-worth? Because your words are empty and you don't care. So have fun going out and getting drunk in boys' cars and woofing like a dog, and making drunken accusations of kidnapping. It's a good look for you. And get your fucking braces off. It's been six years now god damn it! I love you!

Brand New - Seventy Times 7

What Happened To Gellyroll Pens?

In middle school Josh Daniels was a king amongst paupers due to his extensive Gellyroll pen collection. Nothing looked cooler in your composition notebook, or expressed to a young tot (tot = the words tight and hot combined) girl that you would show her yours if she would show you hers in a passed note with more style than a Gellyroll pen. That, and a vast pog collection would drive the ladies CrZy. You had to have every color and every shade. Josh Daniels was fortunate to have it all back then... and now.

Cool Kids - Gold & A Pager

This Week's Sign Of The Apocalypse

Come on folks. $510 for this old shitty Swatch.? I get it, right, it signifies you being straight 'fucking' edge. Rad. But get off your damn high-horse you cargo shorts wearing paint ball playing SOB. If i see someone wearing one of these watches, I'm stealing it, and selling it on e-bay. That being said, i did consider bidding $20 on it. Close.


Dwarves - Fuck You Up & Get High

Pimm's Cup

Josh Daniels apologizes for the lack blogging recently, but it's tough to do when you're in England going to Wimbledon matches everyday. Now that i have revealed Josh Daniels current location, I will let you in on another little secret. Pimm's Cup. This shit is delicious. Many of you Cretans probably haven't tasted this delightful drink since you most likely don't frequent Southern England. I will have you know that it is delicious, refreshing, and parts the red sea (AKA women's legs). Vamos Raffa!!!!!

The Uglysticks - Drunktank

Dear Miss Sassy Pants

I miss you. Come home to me. You were stolen by someone who doesn't deserve your company. If you're somehow reading this, I just want you to remember all the good times we had (sniffle). Remember when we snuggled and watched the movie, Angus three times straight? I do. Your keeper is an immature, Chris Klein loving, INXS blasting vermin. Find your way home soon!

Crystal Castles - Good Times

Birthday Dinners

Why, as kids get older do they move away from the rager birthday bashes and morph their parties into, "more adult" dinner parties at halfway upscale chain restaurants? Josh Daniels has rejected this concept of maturing birthday celebrations. His last party was held at a Chucky Cheese. Needless to say, the parents were less than thrilled to see their precious babies in a ball pit with grown folks. Whales swimming with dolphins is all I am going to say on that. I see you Chode, yea'! This does not mean that Josh Daniels's friends aren't imune to this anti-fun trend of overpaying for microwaved spinach dip while conversing about why hollywood is scared to make an Animaniacs movie. Pretty much all of Josh Daniels's friends have fallen victim to this lameness. Josh Daniels proposes that we all just get pissed out of our tree, make out, and watch Dark Knight trailers until someone has to go to work. Pieces.

Glam Slam - Close In Da' Club

Is There A God?

Yes! There is a god! A salad dressing commercial with spank rock's music blasting in the background!?!?!?! Oh god yes! Josh Daniels can't wait to hear Spank Rock's new jam about how he fucked some hussy with a salad dressing bottle while watching a commercial playing his song. Un-believe-able. Josh Daniels have noticed this trend of companies using indie/dance/electro hipster music in their commercials lately. I.E. : Justice, Junior Boys, (does Genesis count?). But thank god for Spank Rock! You go girl!


Spank Rock - B.O.O.T.A.Y. (Ft. Benny Blanco and Bangers & Cash)

Weekly FYI

Don't you ever eat white cheddar organic cheetos unless you want a camp of lumberjacks knocking on your bathroom door anticipating their chainsaws to TIMBER a fat log. Man, worst shit of my life. I didn't just even drop the cosby kids of to school, I drove them to baseball practice and had to monitor their pottery session. God damn is my anus open for business.

TIMBER FAGGOTS!

B2C - Show Me Yo' Bootyhole

Youtube Review I & II

Beth Nelson's acting in Alberto Aguayo's directorial debut, "Church Studio" reminds Josh Daniels of his ex-girlfriend's third abortion, extemporaneous and over dramatic. Alberto most definitely delivered his signature no holds bar jump cutting technique, which was ultimately a plus for Josh Daniels. For the price of acquiring an actor of Beth Nelson's caliber, one would expect Robert Downy Jr. results. Instead we are left with Steve Guttenberg baby vomit quality acting. Aguayo's second short film starred the dapper Christopher Amoroso and was titled, "Digital Date." The comedy rendered Josh Daniels spleen-less after laughing so hard that Josh Daniels actually burst his spleen!. Hats off!

The Teenagers - Starlett Johansson

The 'Fuck It' List

Based of the wildly acclaimed pixar animation, "The Bucket List", starring the farting hunk duo Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson -I, Josh Daniels, have decided to make a " Fuck It" list basically shitting on the dying wishes of pricks and the like. First of all.

Skydiving. Ready kids..Fuck It!

Ok Brochief, so you wanna devour a bag of extreme nacho Doritos and wash it down with a spiked ZIma before you're tossed out of a stupid, gay plane called some thing stupid and gay like the " The Sky Raptor" or the " Moon Panther"? Why don'tyou just have sex with man because you'll feel just as guilty for paying 500 big ones for a thirty second shitfall with a mustached Richard strapped to your ass like lipstick on an ninja turtle. Get real guiseppe! Fuck It!

Tupac - Fucked Up (Hurricane Mix featuring Thom York)

Feed The Animals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The new Girl Talk album, Feed The Animals, was finally released today. The album is available for download at the price of your own generosity. A link will be provided further down in this post. For those of you familiar or unfamiliar with Mr. Gillis's work, he is a mash-up style DJ who has truly revolutionized the genre of music into his own personal all night dance parties. The new album isn't anything ground breaking, but more of the same from an already accomplished audio engineer. Bravo!

Download the album here!

Greg!

Dude! Your trip seems pretty crazy judging by this picture you sent me. That beast mounted you harder than an Alpha Kappa fraternity dude on a Natty Light keg. Just pure carnal instincts. I heard you "walked" away, so congratulations on that. I look forward to your return so we can start band practice again. xoxo. Josh Daniels


Avenue D - 2D2F

This Is England

Josh Daniels has finally convinced his friend to request the movie, This Is England, from their online DVD rental account. Josh Daniels can not wait to submerge himself in this film with a nice cold brew in hand. Romper Stomper is a great skinhead film; as is, American History X, which is probably in Josh Daniels's top five favorite movies of all time. Props to Edward! But enough about that. This Is England chronicles the story of a young lad in England back in 1983 who is fed up with being picked on by kids at school. Down and out, he is welcomed by a skinhead gang. This promises to to be fun.

Two final things to chew on though kids. One, don't get it twisted, Josh Daniels is not a racist or bigot. But he does hold down the SHARP movement (skin heads against racist prejudice). Two, what's up with the kid pictured atop this post? jabroni.


Kid Dynamite - Cheap Shot Youth Anthem

Guess Who's Back?

Yes my children! Jason Biggs is back. After everyone was calling him the young generation's Bill Murray, he has emerged from the depths of, Over Her Dead Body, and is coming out with a new flick. Mr. Biggs stars in this new knee slapper titled My Best Friends Girl. Peep the trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/mybestfriendsgirl/trailer/


Peter Starstedt - Where Do You Go To My Lovely

Definition of the Week: ' Grown Ass Man'

Mostly used around warm regions of the US and in a crazy, derogatory sense ," Grown Ass Man" is typically hollared and/or vocally farted at men from the ages of 6-25 to catch their attention because they are not or ain't doing much. Women of all races except cacausian, asian, indian, mexican and canadian use these words to embarrass their ' man' either in front of their friends,while chilling or during bomb ass street festivals. For example

" Richard, get up outta your sweatpants, turn off your blackmarket, widescreen version of Wall-E and come help me wit da cookings you deadbeat "GROWN ASS MAN".

I could talk for ages about how much this makes me mad but I'll let you, the readers, figure out just how irritating this can get especially when you're already both assy and grown.

And that is it for my definition of the week!

Love you Guys!!!!!

Day Three: I hate Chris O'Donnell

First, you ruin the Batman movie series.  Now, you steal my girlfriend.  What is your problem man!?!?!?  Maxine if you're out there I hope you're having a wonderful time with douche bag sidekick; and don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone about your little IBS problems.  Because having shit stained thong underwear is bad enough, but having everyone know about it is even worse.  Back to Mr. O'Donnell.  Are you related to Neil O'Donnell?  Because he was awesome at football, kinda like how you are awesome at acting.  Sarcasm.  Oh and by the way, you sucked in the Three Musketeers movie as well asshole.  

mood music:

The Jonbenet - Behold The Great White Whore

Allow me to introduce myself...

My name is Josh Daniels.  Allow Josh Daniels to show you folks what Jack Daniels is all about.  Josh Daniels loved the good'ol days of middle school dances, and what song ruled all other songs at middle school dances?  Correct!  Juvenile's, Back that Azz Up.  The Cash Money crew had a string of hits during this era, which was a proud, fun, and glorious time for one mister Josh Daniels.  Enjoi.  

Juvenile - Back that Azz Up